Fake Orange Juices Piss Me Off

Today I found myself pouring some fake orange juice into my cup. It was incredibly disgusting and unappetizing to say the least. It seems today that there’s a premium on real, naturally, fresh food. We have to pay extra to be able to eat natural, earth-given food. Who came out with this idea?

Was it all of a sudden, Hey chief I think we’re running out. We’re going to need more land to grow oranges but the bananas have taken over, and well there’s much room for either. So there’s not much left room for either of us to grow, especially at the rate we’re going.

Well, kid. Fuck ’em.

—But sir, you do realize we’ve been neighbors with the bananas for over centuries. Our only strategy will be to go forward and start letting some of our ranges wither away if they can’t make it through the winte—

I said, Fuck ’em. Wer’re gonna nuke ’em. You hear me boy? NUKE ‘EM.

Nuke –



Sir, do you realize what consequences war may bring down to us. Mars, would be gravely upset at seeing bananas, oranges, and apples fire up the wormholes over the plains of the fields.

Ah, fuck Mars too! What did that no-good bastard ever do for us down here? I’m tired of the nonsense. We need to go war if we expect oranges to expand, we’re expanding to the west. A MANIFEST DESTINY!

No, sir, you don’t understand—

AHH they ain’t nothing to understand. I’m the commander here, do you read me! Call the troops we’re going to battle!

After the bickering, I guess what we come to understand from that little imaginative stageplay is that there isn’t enough room anymore. There isn’t abundant land for oranges, one of the most important resources for vitamin C. So instead, I think what we have in our hands to deal with. Is another stranger and bickering dilemma. Less of an obvious nature that allows itself to be examined at the laymans view. Instead, in the back-room in laboratories and offices “THE MAN” has decided for all of us, that for cheap folks they deserve the cheap quality of foods, in return for their cheap services, cheap lifestyles, and cheapest of all humors for the world bemusing entertainment. And this is what we’re left with folks, just an orange juice with bits of white powder sparkled over with taints and splashes of red and yellow to make orange juice. The cheapest of its kind.

Now, that’s sad.


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